Tender Mercies

So Once again the Lord blesses me so much more than needed. I don't know why, I'm not that great but the Lord always makes sure i feel loved and gives me all these blessings and tender mercies that i so don't deserve. And I am grateful for that. I can Definitely  say that prayers Work!!  I went in for a test on New Years eve, The test wasn't that bad i actually feel asleep through half of it , so that was good! Today i went to My specialist and Finally he saw the extent to my Problem. Turns out that I Don't need surgery until after my Mission! I am forever grateful for the thoughts and prayers that were given! 

Besides that It's been good to be home. I am Home till March 5th So I'm trying to settle in, at least for the time that i have left. I have gone back to work and it's been busier than ever! I'm guessing its cause it's the flu season and It's the Holidays. I love what i do ,and the people that i work with, so that makes it worth while. I continue to study and i actually went out shopping this weekend. Mission shopping is kinda a hassle like everything is either too short or too tight. So i'm glad i'm starting now so i'll be ready by March. 

This is a learning experience i know that i still have a long way to go. I feel like i have just started my upward climb. I feel like i've had everything thrown at me. I have been bombarded with Negative comments and opinions often. Some people don't understand why i'm going on a mission "doctrinally" Or they have "bitter" feeling towards it. I've been told its kind of an interruption in my life. Some people feel that I shouldn't go and think that is unfair. My heart aches and i wouldn't wish some of the pain i feel on even my worst enemy (if i had any) But ya know what, in the end i'm grateful for it. I am grateful for all the of negative things of this whole mission decision. I don't know why it happens but It has taught me to see people with a more Christ like love. To not judge and criticize people for their choices or how they choose to view things. It has taught me to try to understand where Everyone is coming from. I have been humbled with each tear i have shed and learned to Lean on the Lord .

Not everything that has been thrown at me has been bad though. Someone told me the other day that it isn't often that a person goes out and does what they've always wanted to do & said "good for you, I wish i would've done that" I have also received tons of "congratulations"  And on the day of my mission call opening  I received flowers. ((Thanks btw!)) 

Theres one last thing that i'd like to kinda share with you guys. Theres this mormon message and its a quick 9 min video. This Woman is definitely an inspiration for me. Always reminds me that even though things a rough or if theres something i'm struggling that the Lord does hear our prayers. That no matter how bad of a day we are having that we are not alone. There is a divine plan for our lives that will bring us the greatest joy we can hardly imagine. Like i said this is a learning experience. Every time i pray about it,  the same feeling always overwhelms me. I feel at peace and that everything will be alright. That this is the right thing to do and things will fall in place. That this is my Life and come what may and Love it. I look forward to the future of 2013 with an open mind and Open heart :) 

"When in suffering, we may in fact be nearer to God than we have ever been in our entire lives. That knowledge can turn every such situation into a would be temple. Regarding our earthly journey, The Lord has promised: ' I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left. My Spirit shall be in your hearts and my angel round about you to bear you up.' This is an everlasting declaration of God's love and care for us, including and perhaps especially in times of trouble" -Jeffery R. Holland

What comes next

Since I've got my mission call my life , life has got even busier than it usually was. I've waited for this moment my whole life and I am so excited that it's finally happening. I can honestly say I'm deff nervous and lil over whelmed. I am Going straight to the mtc in Guatemala and basically being emerged in Spanish . It'll be good but ya I am nervous! I feel like I have so much to do in so little time. I will be sending my visa stuff tomorrow so hopefully that all goes well. I have been studying for about an hour  or so a day. Usually 30 min in my mission prep manual and preach my gospel and 30min reading the Book of Mormon . Even though I'm doin this, I still feel over whelmed I mean it's probably normal but ay I'm still nervous !

Now there is something that I haven't mentioned till now because I tried not to think about it till it came up. 5 years ago I was diagnosed with hydronephrosis or what they call a UPJ blockage. What it is basically is a mild blockage in my kidney . I have been to doctors appointments every year to check to see if it has worsened. This past year's exam showed that it had indeed gotten worse and I was advised to have surgery. Since I have been home I have consulted with my specialist to see what to do about the surgery. I am going to undergo some tests to see of the surgery can wait till after my mission. Tomorrow morning I am going in for one of my final tests to see of I do need surgery or if It can wait till after my mission. I am praying and hoping that it can wait. Additional prayers would be appreciated ! :) I love you all and will keep you updated on what will happen next

p.s -Thanks to everyone for the Love and Support that has been given! It really does mean alot.


"It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. … If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers." - Gordon B. Hinckley

Finally!!

Ya know, everything has come down to this moment.  In a way i wasnt prepared at all but at the same time i was. My call came in on friday Dec 14th. All week i had been waiting for it. My bishop had gotten a call saying that it was sent out and that it could come anyday. I've been dreaming of this moment ever since i was a little girl. I would text my dad every morning asking to get the mail & to see if my call was there but he would always say " no sorry my hija" I was for sure on thursday it would come, but it didnt. i was a little upset cause i wanted to be with my friends along with my family when i opened it. I knew that i couldn't open it friday cause all of my family back in New Hampshire was working. So what ended up happening was that i had to wait till Saturday and i opened it right when i got home from College.

 As i flew on the plane all that was going through my mind was "where am i going" Temple square and boise idaho kept crossing my mind and then it it was Belgium or Poland or somewhere in South america. Then i thought maybe central america but i was like nawwww they wouldnt send me there! My best friend is over there!

When i got home i ran and set everything up. I uploaded the livestream and called people on skype and on the cellphones we had. I think i had about 55 people on live stream, 4 on phones, 2 on skype, and i forget how many people were there , it was mostly my cousins and my mom and dad!

When i was opening my call i was shaking so bad! so many things were going through my mind! I legit thought i was gonna pass out! I couldnt believe I got called to the GUATEMALA, GUATEMALA CITY NORTH MISSION! I report to the Guatemala MTC on March 6th! i didnt even know they had an MTC in Guatemala! It is so crazy i cant believe i am going there! Funny thing is that my best friend Jose is basically in the mission right next to mine!  He's a lil south of where i'll be serving but still he's right next to me! I'll be speaking spanish , so i better start learning! Alot is going on at the moment! i gotta get my visa stuff goin and i have to put in my acceptance letter! On top of that i'm going back to work, still unpacking, gotta buy stuff for my mission, and some other things that i will update once i get more info on it. I just wanted to update this and Tell everyone how grateful I am that i get to share this experience with you! I'm thankful for everyone who watched on live stream it really meant alot! i'll try to get a video uploaded so everyone who didnt get to watch it can see! i'll try to update soon once everything calms down a lil bit! but i have 78 DAYS till I enter the MTC! I CANT WAITT :)

Waiting...

So as my previous post said, my papers are officially in! I seriously can not believe that this is finally happening! I have waited all my life for this moment and it's actually here!  :)

Today, probably hit me the hardest with the realization that my mission call could come any day now. On Thursdays is usually when mission calls are decided *( or so i've been told) In a week it should arrive at my Home address back in New Hampshire. I'm grateful for all support you guys have given me and for the Love that i've felt throughout this whole process!!.
Lets back up to yesterday, and let me tell you about an expirence that i had. I go to a Missionary Preparation class on wednesday nights. I have the privaledge to be taught by newly returned mission presidents, who are so amazing btw! I always go to class eager to learn and that class i was quite humbled. It seemed that every question that I answered was either "wrong" or "not quite right". But then it hit me that i was the only one really participating. it also hit me that i was going to have to do this on the mission. I have to put myself out of my confort zone to Give the message of the Gospel. I've never been shy about saying i was a Mormon or that what we believe.On the mission i will be put in situations that i am not use to. I will look dumb and confused at times. I'm deff certain of that. I know the Church is true and thats all that matters though . I am trying to bring what i belive to be the Truth that Christ offers , and also the Peace, joy, and blessings it brings. I am not trying to shove any religion in anyones face. I am and never was about that. I will be real with people and i know that Where ever i am called, thats where i'll be needed. It's my personality and the way that i am that will lead me to the success that will come if i put the effort in.
Tonight was amazing as well. Some of the best roommates i've had here at college got their mission calls tonight! I got to their place early to catch up and to share their excitment with them. I got to hold both of their mission calls as they were setting everything up. As i was holding them i was like " oh gosh mine is coming next week!" it was hard to contain my excitment but i was excited for them more than anything. Kasie got her mission call to the Reno, Nevada mission English speaking. April got called to the Toronto, Canada mission English Speaking.  I am so proud of them and their example that they set. Some of my Other good friends got their mission call as well! My friend Megan is going to Provo,Utah mission Spanish Speaking, and Stefano is going to the Belgium Netherlands mission Spanish speaking!  The people they serve are deff getting some of the best missionaries ever!

This waiting is taking a toll on me but it's so worth it! At the moment it looks more like i will be opening my call at my house. For those of you who would like to attend please just let me know I would love for all of you to be there! If you cannot make it and would like to be on a conference call or skype let me know too! :)  I get home next Saturday the 15th and most likey i will be opening it the second I walk inside my house! Cant wait till next week! :)

It's Guessing Time!

So guys im wikid excited! Today was my last interview with the stake president! my papers are officially sent it!

For those who aren't firmiliar with the mission application process first you get permission to start your online application from your bishop. Then once your online application is done, you have a interview with the bishop. Then he sends your application to a higher group of leaders( the stake president) then you have an interview with them. After that interview he sends all my info and application to the head of our church. From there they council an assign me to a mission, and then i get a letter in the mail telling me, where i'm assigned to and what date to report to the Training Center! I will get my call in about 2 weeks or less!

so now its guessing time! everyone gets one stateside & one foreign guess! you can go ahead and comment below!  :)

The Season of Giving.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Its definitely been an interesting one! I made my first turkey and i think I earned my cooking Merit Badge to be a house wife haha. As i look at the long postings on facebook about the Holiday, i reflect on what i'm grateful for. I'm grateful for alot of things to think of it.I am grateful for parents who have taught me right from wrong and to always believe i was meant for great things. I am grateful for my family, and friends,for the short comings i have and for the hard times that i've been through. My family is crazy sometimes but the best family that i could ever ask for & more. And this includes my work family at LGH :)  I'm grateful for the friends that i have even though sometimes i dont spend as much time with them as i would like too.This past year has been a rollercoaster i guess you could say. i reflect on where i was a year ago. I was getting out of a relationship, going into a new one. I was thinkin about my mission and how far away it was. I was changing my major and what i was studying. Ya know so many things happened that i thought wouldn't happen. The Lord has blessed me more then i deserve and my heart is always full whenever i reflect on the tender mercies He has shown me. 
This Thanksgiving it was just my Oldest brother and I. We both pitched in to try to make Thanksgiving work. He bought the turkey & basically i cooked everything. I stayed up all night & tried to make everything perfect . (btw the turkey was a success) I was really proud the way things turned out! the turkey was perfect, we had all the essentials. pie & dessert as well. As we sat down to give thanks, again, it was just the two of us. It was humbling in a way. I missed my family and i was a lil sad that i couldn't spend time with huge company, but ya know what i was given the opportunity to get to know my brother more. My eldest brother and I have always gotten along but not as close as Jared and I. Jared and i are like bestfriend and my two older brothers are bestfriends so thats just how it was. Out at college, Josh is the only brother out here with me. I love my Brother and i am grateful for the love and support he shows me everyday. But today was different. 
 I want this Blog to be the real Journey of my Mission. The good, bad, happy, and sad. In the words of President Monson I can also say "My dear brothers and sisters, I am humbled as I stand before you this morning. I ask for your faith and prayers in my behalf as I speak about those things which have been on my mind and which I have felt impressed to share with you." . Although, I am not standing at the moment and I am not speaking , but lets substitute [write]. 

Going on a mission is hard. This is the hardest thing that i've done and will do so far in my life.I knew that from the moment I made my decision but I didn't realize how hard it would be. There are a roller coaster of emotions that come with this process, well at least for me. I'm anxious, nervous, excited , heartbroken, exhausted , happy, over filled with joy, ect . It's kinda draining but I know it hasn't even started ! . Everyone talks about how great it is during the mission and what to expect after but i rarely hear of what happens before. Sometimes i think it's harder to go for girls to go just because we are not obligated to go.  Since the announcement was made. My life has legit been turned upside down. I had planned to go when i was 21. I had planned my life basically till then. Now plans have to be canceled, education put on hold,  and other things have been moved up on my to do list. I want to go and have always had the desire to go. I talked to my brother what was happening and it was funny to see how he could relate to what i was going through. I have ran into alot of opinions while this has gone on and one still baffles me a little. I explained that I have no idea why alot of return guy missionaries have a bad opinion of sister missionaries. Maybe they just had some syco missionaries that made their judgement, or maybe they got dear johned on the mission i dk. It is frustrating to know that just becuase they've seen weird sister misssionaries, doesnt mean ill come back one? It hurts and is heart breaking to know that i am being catigorized and jugdged as such. My brother Josh talked about he sacrifices he made and how he is kinda dealing with similar emotions in his life. It was good to lean on each other for support and i am grateful that i have a brother who not only is willing to be there when i need him but  also i'm grateful for his support no matter what happens. 

For those of you who have been reading this blog, i am grateful for your support as well. The Lord has been my Rock and even when things change and life is hard, He has always been there. He's always been the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. For me Nothing has changed in that aspect. Today we reflect on what we are grateful for. Over everything else, I am grateful for Him. Everything i have is because of My Savior.  I'm not that great. I have my flaws. He loves me enough to give me more than i deserve He has blessed me with all of you. I am grateful for that :)

Little Brother

So Jared went on a mission yesterday. For those of you who dont know, ( i mean it's kinda hard not to know) Jared is myounger brother/ best friend/ my otherhalf. 

We have grown up doing everything together. We hung out with the same people, had the same friends, like the same stuff, went on road trips together, went to college together, and most of all drove our parents crazy. Growing up i guess you could say that was our goal most of the time. My mom would come home from school and Jared and I would be causing chaos. But thats just how it is. Jared is about 13 months younger than me so we did everything together because we had to and we wanted to. We were 2 out of the 3 mormons at my school. We learned to rely on eachother for anything. Honestly Jared is way better than i could ever be. He's been an example and i am grateful to call him my brother. 

So for those of you who are not of my faith, when you get called on a mission you enter a training center. Hence, the name Missionary Training Center (MTC) You stay there for a couple weeks learning the language and studying. Then you are sent to the area where you are assigned. Jared was called the San Jose, California mission, Spanish Speaking. He reported Nov14th at 1:30pm. It was actually a bittersweet experience. Jared is definitely emotional and knowing him so well i could tell what he was thinking. He was getting a lil anxious and nervous as we drove by. He asked to stay in the car for 5 more min and so we did. It was cute cause he was trying to collect himself and brace himself for what was going to happen next. As we drove up to the MTC we were greeted by the guard and he told us where to drop Jared off. As we drove past, missionary after missionary stood in a line waiting to help Jared get settled in. They opened his door, and took his luggage. They were extremly nice and asked us where we were from and where Jared was assigned. We said our goodbyes and took pictures. I hugged my bestfriend one last time and watched him walk away. I wont be able to see him for 2 years. But I know it'll go by quickly. He's off Serving the Lord and doing what he's wanted to do for his whole life. I'm glad that this is also something will be doing together. Hopefully we will be getting back around the same time! I love my Brother, he's my bestfriend. I miss him, But we are only apart in distance and i wish him the Best. Good luck Jared, Do work, GIT IT! I know that you're Gonna rock San Jose's world.